Being unsure is a conflict because I don't know what to do or think. Mainly because I'm more concerned about my current emotions because make me look like a fool and maybe ruin stuff. I hate having those thoughts and need a way to vent this out... So I got this blog. As I vent, you guys be the judge and wether or not what I'm doing is okay. This is really strange and never thought it was gonna happen.
I previously mentioned on a past entry about getting together with an old friend. In the past, I had a crush on her and almost dated. Some unfortunate things happened and never worked out. Like a song one of my friends sent me, "Right place, wrong time." That's what the lyrics said. Hoo boy, how I didn't know how true that is. When we became friends again, I thought I was gonna remain friends with her and nothing more. But then I just look at her personality, her way of thinking, her beliefs, and even her looks... I... Got a crush on her again. Forget what happened in the past, this is a new leaf!
Dear reader, you must be asking, "Why would you have a crush on someone that didn't work out before? And aren't you fresh out of a relationship?" Good questions. That I have many things to say. Yes, I am out of a relationship, but I'm not as hung over as I used to be in past relationships because that relationship was just a mere lesson and a way for me to realize it wasn't what I wanted. So I got over the relationship failrly quickly. To answer the first question, hear me out.
I always had the concept of my dream girl. She is based off of three fictional characters: Rosalina from the Super Mario games, the titular protagonist Bayonetta, and Rise Kujikawa from Persona 4. All three of them have unique persoanlity traits that I find attraction. For Rosalina, I like the role of her mother figure and shows how much love she has for the Lumas and takes care of them. For Bayonetta, I like her ruthless persoanlity and how much of a jerk she can be, but doesn't always mean it and does care, even if she doesn't show it. Finally, Rise. She has a passion for the person she loves and would do anything to be with him. She also has an amazing taste in fashion, so she looks pretty all the time! Now dear reader, you now be asking, "Okay, what does this have to do with your situation?" And to that, I will say, my crush has almost all characteristics I've mentined from my fictional crushes.
My crush is the living encarnation of my dream girl and I can't help myself but to crush!! And to make things crazy, she has a crush on someone else, and that is another friend of mine. I have nothing against him! He's a very chill guy! But dammit, I don't wanna create drama or ruin friendships, so this is a really tough situation. Should I compete with him, or should I let them go on their own? He's a good friend, I don't wanna lose that, but at the same time, I don't wanna pass on the opportunity to date my dream girl. In a way, I'm jealous of him. I try not to compare myself to him, or have any bad things against him, so even if I don't end up with her, I can still be happy for them. Obviously it'll suck for me. No matter the outcome, I'm just scared of losing someone. So I must take this easy and pray to God about it. But what do y'all think? Should I or not? I'll be open for questions and other things either in the comments, or on Facebook. My DMs are also open to anyone!
