The feeling of knowing someone wants you for who you are. More than a friendship way, a romantical one. Knowing that the other person is mad about you. It's so satisfying and really motivating you to become a better person for her.
The feeling of her touches, the way she's holding you, the emotions behind a hug, a cuddle, or even hand holding can be very powerful. Just knowing that she desires you is truly a wonderful thing to experience, and you make sure you don't lose that.
The feeling of being showed off is probably the best part. When she shows the world you belong to her, it's a super satisfied feeling. Not only she desires you, she's willing to fight for you, protect you, and even chase you if she really wanted to. Being her's is something very emotional, and conveys how wonderful of a person you can be for her, and she's not afraid to show off what she has.
The feeling of not having any of those emotions, satisfaction, the anticipation, the adrenaline, (maybe even pride) it's very empty. It's also a reminder of how undesirable I am. Even from past partners, they showed me I wasn't worth their effort, their time, patience, and everything else emotionally. All I'm left is the desire to be desired. Constantly reminding me of what seems to only exist in my dreams. A fantasy.
I can only dream at this point, and God knows for how long. Maybe sooner than I think? Or what if it'll never happen again? I don't want to get my hopes up. I don't think I deserve it anyways.
