Care

     I tend to care the very small things that may seem insignificant. I make it a big deal, and I know that often doesn't help. Especially if it drags me down emotionally. So why I keep worrying about it? 

     I... Do not know. It does make me upset. Knowing that something you don't like is the reality. No amount of crying and worrying will ever change that. Even if you give your reasoning, most likely they won't care. That's what bothers me.

     I don't need other's approval, but my dumb mind for some reason wants validation. I want my frustrations to be heard. But at the same time, what is the point if nobody will care? Especially from specific people.

     I want not just validation, just closure in general. Why things had to happen that way. To explain how it makes me feel sad, how it makes me feel scared, how it makes me feel upset, how it makes me feel... Undervalued.

     In the end, it doesn't matter. They don't care. They are not interested what I think. They don't want to know how I'm feeling. They never did. And that's a fact that I cannot get over. Especially from people that I still somewhat care about. But they don't feel the same for me. 

     It's okay. It's not their job. It's not their business. It's not their concern. Me making it a big deal for no reason is my fault. I am pretty stupid for having those thoughts anyway. So it's on me, not them. 

    I can only fix this myself, not them. They never cared, so why should I? It deosn't change the fact that it still hurts... But who cares, right?