Things aren't always made to last. Objects, expensinve stuff, phones, anything really. What hurts the most is a person's bond and interest. Especially if that person meant a lot to you. That's the most painful thing to lose. It was something I never thought I'd lose because of how sure I was, but that was all an illusion. Something I just wanted to believe so badly because of my past. But everything faded away. How I miss that feeling...
From the beginning, she showed heavy interest in me. Very flirty, and showed that she wanted my company. It was all strange for me because I almost never got that kind of attention, but I liked her back. I went for her. Our bond grew and grew by the day. Then that one night, we had our first kiss. I felt something special. Something that I never felt before, but it felt amazing! Is that what love is? The love of another person because of how I am? It felt like that was it. Am I gonna settle with her? I prayed that I do!
After we became official, it seemed like a fantasy. Something that shouldn't happen in real life. But it was! She gave me the attention I wanted, and it felt so good! Of course I returned the favor. It was all a dream come true! She would tell me how underappreciated I was, and how she would hit me up if she was in the situations of the stories I told her. For once, someone is giving me a chance. And I didn't want to lose her, so I really returned the favor!
Towards the middle of the relationship, I noticed some things that were changing. And not the good kind. She would stop trying to look her best, but she was just kinda upset because of the pandemic. So I tried to cheer her up, but was it really working? She stopped showing me interest, but it was just a flirty period, she said. "I still love you!", she would say that once in a while though. I thought she was upset because what's happening in the world, so I thought just making her happy even more was gonna solve this. That's what I thought.
Approaching the last days of the relationship, we would agrue more and more. She gave up trying to look good, wouldn't want to give me affection, and began to ignore me more. She would make fun of me of the things she would praise me in the beginning. When that fateful day happened, everything crumbled. She revealed to me that she wasn't happy the entire time. She acted all that since the middle of our relationship. She rarely told me that she loved me because she stopped loving me a long time ago, and here I was thinking that she did... Like a fool.
So that brings me the question: what she said about me ture at first, and became a lie afterwards? Like her feelings towards me faded away? If so, what was the point of the relationship? What was I then? That bond was gone and I didn't even notice because how well she hid it. I tried to make her happy, but I failed. And then she leaves, like nothing happned. I don't miss her, but I miss the memories, the bond, the emotions behind. But all is now gone and I'm left with nothing... God is all I have, and He's forever, and that should be enough for me.
