God will remove people that will hold you back in life. People that will prevent you from growing with God.
As if he knew what was up, and I was too naive and heartbroken to even realize and find the deeper meaning. If God knew why I loved her so much, why would He take her away from me? I never really blamed God, but just thought I was never worthy, or enough for the literal girl of my dreams. Many nights I cried. And after many prayer, reflections, and looking at the relationship in a retrospective, I finally know the answer. And that is... She was helding me back. She really didn't wan't to be closer to God, even though she claims that she wants to. But as many would always say, "Actions speak louder than words." How true is that.
Knowing that I want a relationship not only with her, but with God too. So me and her can be prepared to become one flesh and present ourselves as one in front of God. But to be ready for anything, I wanted to help her be closer to God. At first, she was excited for the idea! She's been away from Him for a while and wanted to get back. So I helped her out. I would share what I learned, what she didn't know, and answered so many questions. Things seem to go as planned! But... The moment I invited her to go to my church, she became hesitant. Not wanting to go and would always come up with excuses why she can't go. She would not wanted to grow with God. And many times, she would make me feel guilty, and other things that would stop me from doing with God. It wasn't a one time thing. It happened multiple times, over and over. After that, I think God had seen enough. He took her away from me, let her go back to the bad place she refused to leave. And as for me? Of course I felt sad. Heartbroken. Defeated.
I always take a long LONG time to get over things. But I usually don't ever let go of things until I find a deeper meaning to it. A reason why. With this case, I know the why. She was helding me back. After she left my life, my relationship with God grew and got stronger! And what happened to her? Let's just say she didn't have the blessed life she wanted. I feel bad for her, but I couldn't help out or do something about it. Not because I can't, but because she didn't want to. And so, God knew dealing with her would be a waste of my time and energy. I really hoped that motivated her to get closer to God without me. Hoo boy...
